The REM song has nothing to do with religion. It speaks to me anyway.
I was raised active LDS but I always felt different.
I remember testimony meetings. People crying over their faith, their love for Jesus. I wondered why I never felt that.
Sunday school. Family home evenings. We could talk about religion. We just didn't. We did what everyone did. I had friends who did the same.
I never connected. I told myself someday I would. Some experience would unlock it.
I served a mission.
I was married in the temple.
I tried and tried but never once experienced or believed in the faith everyone else seemed to have.
And here I still am.
I had a near death experience.
Still the same.
I don't believe. Not just in the religion. In the notion that there's anything out there at all.
I don't understand how people believe in something they can't prove because it feels right. Because the answers comfort them. Answers that also can't be proven. They don't apply that standard anywhere else.
I got tired of following along with something I knew since childhood I didn't believe. I was doing it to please everyone.
So I stopped. I couldn't fake it anymore.