When I was their age, I was a legend in the 80s and 90s...... lets take a step back for a moment.
I Dug Tunnels.
My baseball cards were organized in their boxes, carefully collected through incredible trading skills, and treated like gold.
I'd trade for my favorite Giants and A's players, collecting Padres cards to swap with my uncle for coveted bash brothers cards.
Dont get me started on my POGS skills and collection.
My L.A. gear kicks with the license plate keychain and stüssy shirt in 6th grade ensured I was first in line at the drinking fountain.
Mossimo was sooooo 5th grade.
I'd watch X-Files with the blinds closed, making sure no one outside was trying to make me their next episode.
My friend and I started ECCO printing, selling name badges to classmates—mostly Scully and Mulder tags because only they knew the truth.
In 4th grade, dressed in all black (nothing has changed), I'd climb out my window at night with Spy Tech and stake out the neighborhood sleuthing out villains. I never caught them because I was too focused on staying hidden.
Jeff Cole and I dug tunnels beyond anything the Army could ever dream of. We were GI Joe characters planning our next moves even when the tunnels filled with rain.
David Cressey and I would blast M.C. Hammer while jumping our BMX bikes off street ramps, elevating higher than the rooftops. We have witnesses, and maybe wounds.
Yes, my bike had the chrome valve stem caps, and I'd be biking wearing my airwalks, and neon pink jacket and helmet.
I aspired to be the handball king with a slicey everyone feared, but gave up and moved to nerf touch football with the big boys.
Jonny and I played with his ninja turtles, and seeing TMNT in theatres is still a great memory. I'm pretty sure Raphael was created because of me.
Knight Rider, Airwolf, A-Team molded me. Sitting in Kitt at Universal Studios and talking with him was mesmerizing. My Kitt car is still buried in our backyard, waiting to be found in 2092.
And yet somehow, after leading the most poser-free, gnarly, sick childhood, I'm the boring one, because I don’t understand 6-7.
The disrespect is unreal.
I may have peaked in 4th grade at handball but I was and am still the coolest.
❤️
Jake