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This movie felt like I was watching a real life scooby-doo mixed with wedding crashers writers trying to M. Night Shyamalan and Rob Zombie you in one go. give it 0 broken beach rafts out of 10. WTF was this.…
Housemaid
My son and his cousin said it was good. Reviews agreed. Sequel already greenlit. I walked in thinking no way this delivers. Hype is usually a leading indicator of disappointment. I was wrong. The Housemaid is dark. It earns it. 10 bloody teeth and 10 hair follicles out of 10.…
Anaconda 2025
This was pleasantly interesting. I was hesitant at first, given the plot: A movie about making a movie about a movie. But knowing it had Jack Black and Paul Rudd, I knew it would be entertaining. The Ice Cube cameo was great, the J. Lo one, not at all -…
Wicked
Hot garbage. Halfway through, I stood up and said "Is this thing still going!?". I will never watch this again.…
Avatar: Fire and Ash
I rate this 2 siamese cats speaking sign language to whales with bull rings. Make this movie make sense - it felt like I was watching something where the plot was dumped out of a bucket of 3rd grade stories and randomly glue-sticked together. Such a disaster when the first…
DARK > Stranger Things
I initially binged Stranger Things like everyone else. The 80s nostalgia hit exactly right and was genuinely my favorite part as I loved my childhood in the 80s. The synth soundtrack, riding around on bikes everywhere everyday, and welcome back Winona Ryder. That first season had real magic to it.…
ZooTopia 2
Went to Zootopia 2 expecting silly popcorn nonsense. Left emotionally compromised by cartoon mammals. When the credits rolled I wanted to stay and watch it three more times. That's not normal. That's not how kids movies are supposed to work. 10 out of 10 happy snakes…
Nefarious
Nefarious is a rollercoaster. Not because it takes you somewhere. Because you get on thinking you know what ride this is, and then the floor disappears. Two people talking in a room. That's it. The darkness here isn't aesthetic. It's structural. You're…
Clockwork Orange
I watched a Clockwork Orange because Kubrick. Expected revelation. Got confusion. I kept waiting for the part where I'd feel smart for getting it. That part never came. And then I did that thing: I assumed the problem was me. "I clearly don't understand cinema.…
The Penguin
WOW. WOW. WOW. This is incredible. I can't compare this to anything but this show was so... dark, deep, and riveting. The character stories as they are told are addicting and fun to follow. Colin Farrel did an incredible job. 10 out of 10 eyebrows.…