All Hands On Deck For Nothing

There's a game I play in my head sometimes. Let's call it "The Hunt for Red October." Anxiety hits and I go full submarine warfare. Red alarms. All hands on deck. I'm running through every IF/ELSE statement in my brain like…

AI Certifications Are Bullshit

AI Certifications are the new fraud. I got one to prove it.I got certified in pencil sharpening last week. Twelve modules. Forty hours. There was a capstone project. I sharpened a pencil. It was a #2 pencil because, yah. I’m now a Certified Pencil Sharpening Professional (CPSP). Felt…

GraphQL Sucks

There, I said it. I've used GraphQL exactly once, and I had inherited it. Someone else's architectural confession left in the codebase like a note that just said "sorry." Never again. "But Jake, you must have had a bad experience with it, or…

Karma

I don't believe in evil that's a lazy frame A word men use to dodge the weight of blame No devils in the details, just decisions made The hand that held the knife don't get to call it fate But good? I've…

Boxing Saved Me

Drove past Legends Boxing in Lehi for months before I finally walked in. 2019. Should have done it sooner. Three years straight. Not "I go sometimes" fitness. Actually showing up. Learning to hit things correctly while your lungs file a formal complaint. That combination of skill acquisition and…

Heaven And Hell

I do not accept the notion that such "places" exist. It makes no sense to me, that there are places we end up after death, and our destination is based on the decisions we make in life. These decisions made during a short period of time, are supposed…

Our Kids Are Free.

Tyler is 20, Kaitlyn 17, Brooklyn 15 and Travis 14 and reflecting on this, I can't help but think.... Our kids are perfect. I'm biased, sure, but also correct. Lindsey and I never changed who we are to appeal to societal norms or religious commons or…

Pipeline Pattern

You don't need this pattern. But sometimes it makes everything cleaner. Lets first review various scenarios we all have seen, that could take advantage of a different way to handle things. Order checkout: Validate cart → Reserve inventory → Charge payment → Create order record → Send confirmation. Each step has a…

Sammy The Cat

Sammy was a black cat. Maybe ours, maybe the neighborhood's. I never got clarity on that. What I know is he greeted me every day in the backyard. Sometime around first grade, Sammy froze to death outside. I remember crying. Not the performative kind. The kind where your…

3 Years Later. Ghosts Again, Not Yet.

0:00 /3:01 1× 3 years ago: Continued from last year ---- Mom, with every breath I still take, I've come to recognize that I recall your presence at the time the heavens were ready, 3 years ago. I want you to know that I can wait…